Private Function Announce Break Up: “The Australian Music Industry Is Parasitic”

Melbourne rockers Private Function have announced they are breaking up after nine years.

‘Twas the day of Christmas when Melbourne rockers Private Function gifted their fans an image of a wrapped lump of coal with the card “we broke up lol”.

As the post’s caption would reveal, this was no stunt. After nine long years, the ‘Albury Wodonga’ group have shared that they have indeed broken up.

“Because you’ve all been such naughty children this year, we’ve decided you’re all getting the present you deserve,” the band wrote. “WE’RE BREAKING UP LOL.”

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The post would go on to thank fans for their support throughout the past nine years, promising to buy “you all a bear one day”. They would also go on to confirm that their Australian Tour with the Viagra Boys will be the last time fans can see them play around the country.

Bassist Milla Holland would share a follow-up Instagram story, which would take on a more serious tone.

“For 9 years we destroyed our bodies and minds, we made a lot of industry people a lot of money and saw very little ourselves,” she wrote. “It became unsustainable as we got older and more injured.”

“The Australian music industry is parasitic and you only get more exploited the higher up they let you,” Holland would continue.

“That said I’m so grateful that i got to be a part of the band,” she concluded. “My best memories are from the early days playing small intimate shows. Music festivals are dogshit, corpos convinced us that we want them but they are vibe less environmental disasters.”

Private Function was formed in 2016 and has released four studio albums. Their specific flavour of punk would see the band join major acts like Green Day during their Australian tour in 2025.

The Melbourne rock outfit released their fourth album, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, in May earlier this year. Days before the announcement, Private Function were reportedly in the studio recording new music, which has since been confirmed to be their “swansong”.

So, if you’re a fan, you’ll have until January to see them off before the cult hero’s off one last time.