Disney cranks up the remake turnaround speed to maximum for this live action take on the acclaimed animated film.
Two things occurred to me while watching the first trailer for Disney‘s live action remake of Moana. The first is that the animation-to-live-action-remake pipeline is now only a decade long – the original Moana, a banger, was released in 2016. The second is that, after his physical transformation in The Smashing Machine, it’s a shame Dwayne Johnson didn’t go full De Niro as Jake LaMotta and just chunk the hell out to play Maui – just really pile the pounds on. As it is, he’s opted to retain his impressively chiseled physique, but add a frankly terrible-looking wig to distract us. It’s a choice, I guess.
Moana Trailer
What’s the plot?
Everyone on the planet saw Moana, and folks with kids saw it a lot more frequently than they might have personally chosen, according to one father of my acquaintance. But just in case, here’s our old friend, the official synopsis:
In Disney’s live-action reimagining of the beloved Oscar-nominated animated adventure, Moana (Catherine Lagaʻaia) answers the Ocean’s call and, for the first time, voyages beyond the reef of her island of Motunui with the infamous demigod Maui (Dwayne Johnson) on an unforgettable journey to restore prosperity to her people.
you can fill in the blanks. With songs, mostly.
Who’s in it?
- Catherine Laga’aia as Moana.
- Dwayne Johnson as Maui.
- John Tui as Chief Tui, Moana’s father.
- Frankie Adams as Sina, Moana’s mother.
- Rena Owen as Gramma Tala, Moana’s grandmother and Tui’s mother.
- Not Alan Tudyk as Heihei the chicken, for reasons I cannot possibly imagine.
When’s it out?
Moana sails into Australian cinemas on July 8.
What’s the vibe?
I just cannot see the point of this thing. That’s a decent cast but Johnson sounds like he’s reciting the script, and every shot seems to be a direct lift or a strong echo of the original – which is still perfectly watchable, because it’s only 10 years old! Also, why is everything photorealistic except the goddamn chicken? And why is Maui’s tattoo still fat? And are people actually gonna show up for this? Well, probably – kids don’t care one whit, so expect it to clean up.
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