We’re Finally Getting Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair

Quentin Tarantino invites us to kill Bill once again, as his martial arts duology becomes a massive four and a half hour epic.

I honestly thought we’d be stuck with fan edits from now until the end of time, barring a posthumous “it’s what he very well may have wanted” cut a decade or two down the track, but we’re finally getting Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair, some 22 years after Kill Bill: Volume 1 hit cinemas in 2003. Now, at long last, we’ll see Quentin Tarantino‘s masterpiece of martial arts mayhem the way he… well, the way he promised 20 years ago.

Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair Trailer

What’s the plot?

C’mon, you know this one: after waking from a coma, a mysterious assassin known as The Bride (Uma Thurman in her definitive role) sets about tracking down the former comrades who betrayed her: the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad. Top of the list is their leader, and her former lover, the titular Bill (David Carradine). Cue unholy amounts of incredibly cool violence as writer and director Quentin Tarantino pens a cinematic sonnet in blood.

But this particular iteration, long-promised and, if we’re being honest, thought lost to the realm of “wouldn’t it be cool if…”, welds together Kill Bill: Volume 1 and Kill Bill: Volume 2 into, as the title promises, one big, bloody affair: 281 minutes of mayhem, with a brand new anime sequence and, thankfully, a 15 minute intermission.

Who’s in it?

• Uma Thurman as Beatrix “the Bride” Kiddo.
• Lucy Liu as O-Ren Ishii (code name Cottonmouth), a former Deadly Viper turned Yakuza boss.
• Vivica A. Fox as Vernita Green (code name Copperhead), a former Deadly Viper.
• Daryl Hannah as Elle Driver (code name California Mountain Snake), a former Deadly Viper.
• Michael Madsen as Budd (code name Sidewinder), a former Deadly Viper and Bill’s brother.
• David Carradine as Bill (code name Snake Charmer).
• Sonny Chiba as Hattori Hanzō, sushi chef and master swordsmith.
• Chiaki Kuriyama as Gogo Yubari, O-Ren’s sadistic Japanese schoolgirl bodyguard.
• Gordon Liu as Johnny Mo, leader of the Crazy 88, and kung fu sifu Pai Mei.
• Michael Parks as Ranger Earl McGraw and former pimp Esteban Vihaio.

When’s it out?

Lionsgate is putting Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair in US cinemas from December 5. Somebody will grab it locally, for sure: your local upmarket arthouse fleapit will be all over it, have no doubt.

What’s the vibe?

C’mon now: you have to see this.