In the wake of Bob Bryar’s tragic passing, Frank Iero, rhythm guitarist for My Chemical Romance, has shared a deeply personal and reflective statement on Instagram.
His heartfelt words shed light on Bryar’s enigmatic personality, his role in the band, and the struggles that ultimately led to his isolation. Iero’s tribute adds another layer to the ongoing narrative surrounding Bryar’s legacy, offering both fans and the music community a nuanced perspective on a man who was equally celebrated and conflicted.
Iero begins by grappling with the permanence of loss, reflecting on the surreal nature of Bryar’s death. “People your age, your peers, the ones you shared so much time and experience with aren’t supposed to just suddenly leave your life forever,” he writes, before diving into his memories of Bryar. Describing him as an “enigma,” Iero highlights Bryar’s dualities—self-assured yet introverted, kind yet caustic, generous yet difficult.
The anecdotes Iero shares paint a vivid picture of Bryar’s eccentricities. From his unconventional drum setup that injured his wrists to his refusal to wear anything but Walmart slippers on tour, Bryar’s quirks became a defining part of his identity within the band. Iero recalls their dark sense of humour, which bonded them, and the unspoken tension that sometimes put them at odds. “There were also times when I think Bob disliked me immensely,” he admits, adding a layer of honesty to the tribute that feels raw and unfiltered.
Iero also opens up about a pivotal moment that deeply affected Bryar: the scam dog trainer incident. While the exact details remain unclear, Bryar had trusted a trainer to help with one of his dogs, only to later discover that the trainer was operating unethically. One of Bryar’s dogs was killed as a result. Iero describes the emotional devastation this caused, saying it “wrecked him emotionally” and contributed to the downward spiral that ultimately led to his departure from the band.
Bryar’s departure from My Chemical Romance in 2010 marked a turning point in both his life and the band’s trajectory. Iero recounts his efforts to support Bryar during those challenging times, offering a listening ear and advice on how to address issues within the group. Despite these attempts, the strain proved too much, leading to Bryar’s eventual isolation. “I tried to see him a few times over the years,” Iero shares, “but he politely made it impossible.”
This candid reflection ties into Blunt’s earlier exploration of Bryar’s later years, marked by isolation, controversial behaviour, and the complexities of mental health. Iero’s admission that he never got to tell Bryar he was sorry underscores the tragedy of unresolved conflicts. “I don’t think it would have mattered,” he reflects, “but I do wish like hell I finished the text conversation we had back in September.”
Bryar’s contributions to My Chemical Romance remain indelible, from the iconic rhythms of The Black Parade to the thunderous performances that shaped the band’s meteoric rise. Yet his story is also a sobering reminder of the toll that emotional struggles and unresolved pain can take.
Iero ends his tribute with a poignant farewell: “I hope you found some peace, BC. I’m glad the universe let me know you for a while.” It’s a sentiment that encapsulates the bittersweet nature of Bryar’s legacy—a life marked by incredible highs, devastating lows, and the enduring impact he left on those who knew him.
Frank Iero Full Statement:
“I still don’t feel like this is real… people your age, your peers, the ones you shared so much time and experience with aren’t supposed to just suddenly leave your life forever… but I suppose permanence isn’t really a concept humans are meant to understand.
I’ve spent the past few days thinking about Bob a lot and the person I knew him to be. These are some of the things that stuck out:
BC Bryar was a lot of things. An enigma of sorts because he often inhabited both ends of any spectrum at the same time. He was my friend and my bandmate, but he was also a stranger to me for most of my life. We lived together for a while, on and off the road… but after the band we would go months on end without any type of contact, until I texted him a “happy birthday!” or out of nowhere he would hit me asking how old the kids were these days or check in on how my dad was feeling.
Sometimes we’d trade a meme or photos of Lego builds we had done, but then someone would leave the other on read and an indeterminate radio silence would follow. In the meantime, I’d hear rumblings of what he might be up to or some shit he’d stirred up online, but that wasn’t ever the person I was acquainted with.
Bob was incredibly talented, and he knew it, confident enough in his abilities to convince us that he was the right drummer for our band without us actually ever hearing him play drums. However, over the years I found him to be incredibly self-conscious and introverted whenever he felt placed outside of his comfort zone.
Bob was eccentric as f**k and funny as hell. He could be mean and troll you so hard that it would cut you in half, but if you ever really needed something, he would be the first one there to give you whatever he had if it would help you out in some way or put a smile on your face.
Although thumbing his nose and pissing people off was always a favourite pastime and something he didn’t ever grow out of… (I guess if you find you do something well, you tend to stick to it.) Bob often got fixated on things to a point of obsession, and he liked to make things difficult. In a strange way, I think he found some comfort in it.
His drumming was clean, always precise and unique, but I remember while on tour for The Black Parade, he got bored, and so as a game, he decided to position all of his drums flat so that there were no angles pointing toward him. In turn, making it more uncomfortable to play and ultimately injuring his wrists. As far as I know, he refused to ever go back to a more comfortable position… but this was also around the time Bob refused to wear any kind of footwear other than Walmart slippers because he preferred comfort over any kind of style.
BC Bryar was at times the one I related to the most in the band because his humour was dark as f**k, just like mine, and we could laugh over our collective negativity without ever worrying we might offend one another.
We even had this plan to get semi-matching tattoos that would say: “Bob/Frank Hates _______.” Then we could fill them in with something different in marker each day when we undoubtedly found a new thing that got on our nerves.
There were also times when I think Bob disliked me immensely and wished he could kick me out of the band. Maybe some days he would have written my name in Sharpie on the blank space of that tattoo.
Bob really didn’t like the company of people all that much, but he loved animals. I’m quite convinced he would have been happy to watch the world burn if he could be promised not a single dog or cat would be harmed in the process.
At one point, while we were working and living out in LA, Bob and a few friends got scammed by a dog trainer, and one of his dogs was killed in the process. It was a real shady story, and Bob was devastated. It really wrecked him emotionally, and I don’t think he was ever the same again.
Things really went south with him and the band following that incident. He just couldn’t keep it together anymore—his sadness, anger, and distrust were too much to handle and took over all aspects.
I remember telling him, “Please just come to me with stuff first. You can talk to me about whatever shit is bothering you without a filter, and together we can come up with a way to either fix the situation or figure out a plan on how to discuss this with everyone else.”
But ultimately, it was a bandaid that didn’t hold. The damage was done, and Bob was too far gone. Eventually, I was the one that had to tell him he was out of the band. He isolated himself by design pretty soon after that.
I tried to see him a few times over the years, but he politely made it impossible. I don’t think I ever got to tell him I was sorry. I don’t know if it would have mattered… but I do wish like hell I finished the text conversation we had back in September.
I hope you found some peace, BC. I’m glad the universe let me know you for a while.
xofrnk”
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