The worst Superman has taken advantage of the agency’s rapidly dropping recruiting standards.
Apparently eager to prove that truth, justice, and the American way does not include the Fourth Amendment, former Superman and current embarrassment Dean Cain has announced that he has joined ICE.
The star of Andy the Talking Hedgehog and The Dog Who Saved Easter made the announcement on – where else? – X, the everything (is brigaded by straight-up Nazi swine) app in a recruitment video in which he encourages others to enlist. It’s… uh… a bit weird.
Now, this coincides with some changes in eligibility requirements at the ol’ United States Immigration and Customs Enforcement. In fact, it precedes them a little. A number of responses to Cain’s clip lamented that, although they’d love to join the hordes of masked assholes currently sweeping the melanin-enhanced from America’s streets, issues such as age, health, and intelligence barred the way.
“Unfortunately, you can’t join ICE if you’re over 37 years of age,” one mewled.
“I’d love to join but I can’t with age limit,” another sniveled. “I can help with paperworks.” they added, demonstrating that they could not, in fact, help with paperworks.
“Perhaps we’ll get that changed…” Cain, who is currently filming religious golf comedy The Holy One with fellow shrill irrelevancies Kevin Sorbo and Criss Angel, replied enigmatically.
Lo and behold, almost immediately the Department of Homeland Security announced massive changes to ICE’s recruitment standards.
Immigration Customs and Enforcement now has no (presumably upper) age limit, requires no undergraduate degree, and no prior law enforcement experience. In Cain’s grudging defence, he does tick the last two boxes. But he doesn’t have to, is the thing.
This comes at a time when Trump’s recent Big Beautiful Bill has given ICE more funding than any US federal law enforcement agency in history, and more than the US prison system. The agency aims to recruit 10,000 new employees to enact the current US government’s plans for mass arrests and deportations. But that’s a big number, and filling it means a raft of signing incentives, including a $50,000 signing bonus, up to $60,000 in student loan forgiveness, and other perks.
But don’t take my word for it – ICE and the Department of Homeland Security have been hawking those incentives pretty hardcore. I’m gonna dump a few images from the official ICE and DHS X accounts for you to peruse or skip by as you see fit. Strap in.
It’s a lot.
Much to unpack here.
ICE are clearly cribbing from the kind of Norman Rockwell-ish recruiting posters that plastered the walls of World War II era America, but they’re cribbing from the other side too. On Bluesky, columnist and former Obama administration official Brandon Friedman explicitly compared them to Nazi recruitment posters and look, I can see it.
If you check out the video, Cain takes a stab at the semiotics of fascism with his black shirt festooned with skulls and flags, but it’s a long way from Hugo Boss, and his ring light-blasted mug gurning about the joys of ICE enlistment isn’t exactly a Leni Riefenstahl flick. Ironically, the face of nativist nationalism looks like the fascism you order off Temu.
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