Liam Gallagher has announced that Oasis concerts are safe for cheaters, declaring “[It] doesn’t matter to us who you’re f****ng mingling with, or tingling with, or fingering with, it’s none of our f****ng business.”
Everyone has been experiencing some schadenfreude this week, delighting in the Astronomer CEO scandal. Now, famous shitposter Liam Gallagher has weighed in.
During Oasis’ final homecoming show at Heaton Park last night, the co-founder shared that each ticket comes with a free pass to cheat privately. “Do we have any lovebirds in the house? Don’t worry, we don’t got any of that Coldplay snidey f****ng camera shit,” Gallagher proclaimed.
If you’ve been out in the woods and missed the scandal – last week during a Coldplay concert, which features a jumbotron, revealed a couple intimately holding each other. On realising they were on the screen, both individuals quickly dipped to hide their faces.
“Either they’re having an affair or they’re just very shy,” frontman Chris Martin joked from the stage. The internet quickly discovered the couple were CEO Andy Byron and Chief Human Resources Officer Kristin Cabot of the tech company Astronomer.
Social media took the scandal and ran with it. Memes have been popping up everywhere featuring the Byron and Cabot’s distressed reaction. One person went a step further to even create a video game where you play as the cameraman attempting to find the couple in the crowd.
Following the concert, Astronomer quickly issued a statement announcing that they had placed both employees on leave and its Board of Directors “initiated a formal investigation into this matter and we will have additional details to share very shortly”. A day later, the company announced that Byron had resigned.
Of course, Liam Gallagher shared his thoughts on the scandal, and what he would have done differently. “Doesn’t matter to us who you’re f****ng mingling with, or tingling with, or fingering with,” Gallagher said at their show. “It’s none of our f****ng business.”
Martin also commented on the incident at the first Coldplay concert since the apparent scandal went viral. “We’d like to say hello to some of you in the crowd,” Martin told the Camp Randall Stadium audience. “How we’re gonna do that is we’re gonna use our cameras and put some of you on the big screen. So please, if you haven’t done your makeup, do your makeup now.”
Oasis will now head to London for a string of shows at Wembley Stadium starting Friday 25 July. Blunt Magazine will be providing on the ground coverage of these shows.
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